It was our 6th year church wedding anniversary yesterday although Tom and I are officially, happily, faithfully married for 6 1/2 years now. We met 10 years ago via the internet. I can’t believe we are actually going on 7 years this year and so far, knock on wood, it has been a no drama kind of a marriage this despite not having met the old fashioned way and followed by a long distance relationship.
Our church wedding invitation, RSVP cards and envelopes handmade by me. Materials are made of watercolor paper, ribbon, parchment paper printed with inkjet. Wine is a gift with our names inscribed on it. Candles were one of our table decors.
In fact, even though we have corresponded for around 3 years, the total number of days that Tom and I have known each other in person before we got married was less than 3 months, vacations to the Philippines included. My greatest fear then about getting married pre-Tom was, knowing my temper and impatience, was me not being able to stick around – I will just blow up and leave my husband in a huff. But here we are almost 7 years later still the best of friends.
Here are the 10 reasons why I think this is so:
1.) I read “Men Are From Mars And Women Are From Venus” by John Gray. This was very helpful during the bf-gf stage and first months of marriage.
2.) We don’t give each other a reason to be jealous. I can talk to my male friends on the phone for a long time and don’t see my husband pacing behind me. Tom too still keeps in touch with a couple of his exes and meet them for coffee when they are in town. All my husband would get from me is a “you can even come home on Monday if you like” as a joke.
3.) Tom was already financially established when we got married. Spouse/fiancee petitioning, visa processing, plane tickets, supporting a fiancee who can not work for at least 6 months before she is legally able to do so equals $$$.
4.) He didn’t have a baggage and I didn’t have a baggage.
5.) I am a Catholic, he is even more Catholic. I never liked Bush, he is a democrat. I don’t smoke, he doesn’t smoke. I drink a little, he drinks moderately. I am fitness conscious, so is he. I love books, he is a writer.
6.) We live simply. We have one car. The most sophisticated gadget we have is my 1 year old iTouch. My camera is old and given by a friend. I have less than 10 pairs of shoes (my 6 year old flip flops included). The only extravagance we have is our dining out 2-3x a week. Nothing fancy either.
7.) The above is the reason why we seldom argue about money. Seldom means once every two years. Really.
8.) Sense of humor. Even during the night after our car got stolen we were cracking jokes about it.
9.) We give each other space. I get to spend time with friends and he can play golf with his. No neediness there.
10.) Most importantly, when he gets mad I get mad. When I get mad he’s calm and reasonable. =) But seriously, his kindness is the best temper diffuser. I have never said anything to him that I have regretted and he hasn’t said or did anything to make me lose respect for him.
We do have our share of disagreements, nowadays it’s when Evan gets sick. I think he’s too panicky and he thinks I’m too calm. But otherwise, we’re good. I am everyday grateful to have been given this man, my Tom to share my life with.